Ten Ways the Mother on Daniel Tiger is Better Than Me: an Homage in Honor of The Tremendous Amount of TV Your Kids Will Watch Over Fourth of July Weekend

Happy Fourth of July! How ironic for parents that a day that daycare is closed is called Independence Day! Here my kids are watching TV while my husband and I pack for our trip. We don't call it vacation because we are not stupid. I have dressed them in holiday appropriate gear as I do for every occasion (OCHKCSD).*

Anyway, I hate when the kids want to watch Daniel Tiger because it gives me an inferiority complex. Daniel Tiger's parents are so far superior to me in every parenting aspect that it is not even compensated for by the fact that I intellectually know they are cartoon tigers. Here are some differences between how I and the feline Brady mom respond in a variety of parenting situations.

Empathic yet again.
(http://pbskids.org/daniel/curriculum/)

1- Preschooler runs into the street.

Daniel Tiger's Mom (DTM): Daniel, I think you're really excited to get to the grocery store. Maybe you can put on your listening ears and try harder to wait patiently by the car.

Me: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Oh my God, I am not even going to try to take you anywhere anymore. We are going to sit in the car and order Peapod on my phone instead of going into the store because I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU.

2- Preschooler begs you for a playdate; when you rearrange your schedule to make it happen, your preschooler throws a fit when the playdate tries to play with any of the toys in your house.

DTM: Daniel, I think you're really excited to play with your friend. Let's put one special toy on the stairs that you don't want to share yet, and pick a couple of toys that you can both use together, or maybe we can do a special art project I prepared earlier.

Me (sotto voce in the bathroom): If you do not start acting right we will never have Madison over this house again. I told you I didn't want to hang out with her anyway.

3- Preschooler is excited that it is a snow day.

DTM: Look at every little snowflake. They look a lot alike, but every one is special, just like you.

Me: Oh my God, preschool is closed? No, keep calling, maybe some of the teachers have made it in and we can send them. It's not that icy out, really.

4- Preschooler doesn't want to get a shot.

DTM: Daniel, here is a picture book that I illustrated for you about how vaccinations help our bodies stay happy. I understand you're scared but I know you can do it.

Me: Please please just don't throw a fit and then we can get you ice cream.

5- Preschooler doesn't want to go to school.

DTM: Daniel, let's sing a special song about how school helps our brains grow. Do you want to help me make your special lunch and decorate your special backpack?

Me: Get in the car now and I will let you have the iPad.

6- Preschooler wants to go outside in the cold without a jacket.

DTM: Why don't you try it and I will stand here and wait for you to learn from natural consequences and come inside and get a coat? I have all day, as I am illustrated.

Me: Then sit inside and do nothing.

7- Preschooler wants to pretend to be a "snow astronaut."

DTM: Let's whip up this astronaut outfit out of craft supplies I keep around the house!

Me: Okay, zoom, zoom. Now Mommy needs to start dinner.

8- Preschooler wants a long story before bed.

DTM: Okay, Daniel, just one more. It can be this really long one too. And then we will sing our special song and tuck you in.

Me: I told you when Mommy is tired we only read the board books. Goodnight red balloon.

9- Preschooler ate too much and feels sick.

DTM: Daniel, this is why sugar is bad for our bodies. Let's sing a song about obesity.

Me: I told you not to eat that crap. Who gave it to you, Daddy?

10- Preschooler wants to bake with you.

DTM: Sure, Daniel! Let's whip up this chocolate raspberry torte. I don't care if you get flour all over my floor, kitchen, and house. Remember, I am illustrated.

Me: Fine, let's make these three ingredient cookies. What do you mean you didn't get to help? You did the special getting out the mixing bowl job.

DTM would be next to me explaining about conch shells, not taking pictures from afar in between Facebooking

__________________________
* Obsessive Compulsive Holiday Kids Clothes Shopping Disorder; will publish on this when I start doing research again, never.

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