Parenting Haikus, By Stage- Originally published as guest post on MommyTries.com!

In trying to "develop a unique voice for my blog," I discovered that I am really good (read: fast) at writing haikus. If you like my haikus, comment and I will start delivering more haikus. I am nothing if not responsive to my loyal and growing readership. Without further adu (ha ha! I've been up since 4:30am cut me some slack), here are my....

Parenting Haikus, by Stage

Newborn:

Early exposure to computer linked to higher IQ, according to no literature I could find

Peeing while breastfeeding.

Every new mom has done this

It's multi-tasking.

Crawler:

Just getting covered in dust motes at my sister's dress rehearsal

Across the playground,

See him eat mulch. Don't judge me,

Mom of just one kid.

Toddler:

Reason? With me?

Are you friend or foe?

Who knows what you will do next.

I am terrified.

Preschooler:

You can pump your legs!

Swinging you no longer feels

Like I'm Sisyphus.

I'm eating the raspberries off the bush before they are ripe! Praise me!

School Aged:

Two years in advance,

Already I am dreading

The dioramas.

Teenager:

If you can hide things

As adeptly as I did

I will not worry.

College Aged Child:

You better be smart.

There is no way I can pay

For all three of you.

Adult Child:

Come on, I'm pretty cute

I already know

I'll miss your childhood stages

(except you, toddler).

Grandchild:

I will babysit

But will try not to intrude.

So I like to think.

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