I found this obvious article from a year ago. My baby is ten months so it was already late in the game for me to have decided against him had I seen it when it came out.
Here are the Top Ten Reasons Having Three Kids is Stressful:
8- Other people expect you to be a really good mom. Or else why would you have kept having kids? Only because you missed having a little baby? You idiot.
7- They require a ton of stuff. Like, shoes. How many little shoes fit into one closet? (Actually, more than you would think, especially if they aren't paired.)
6- They all want to do things. Like, go to the pool. But the other one doesn't want to. That one wants to sit around and pretend she is hurt bad enough to require a princess bandaid. The third one is napping. So basically you always have to deal with someone who isn't getting their way, and there is only so loud you can turn up the educational DVD in the minivan to drown out crying.
5- Your husband really can't handle all three. Neither can you, but you must both pretend you can or else the emperor will be seen to have no clothes and chaos will ensue.
4- Nobody wants to watch them. Neither do you though. So this is an impasse, and you lose because you're legally bound to them.
3- They are never quiet. Really. I tried wearing earplugs and they just talked louder. It was like the torture scenes in Homeland.
2- They are always hungry. This cannot be overstated. They want to eat at mealtimes, snacktimes, when they see food on TV, when a song has a food item in it, and when they read The Very Hungry Caterpillar (kids are suggestible, what can you do). There are three of them and one of me and if I fail to feed them, I fear they will eat me next.
1- You thought I was going to say that zone defense thing, didn't you? Nope. I will just state that if you try to put three kids in the bathtub at once, you will regret it. Also, your daughters will talk in preschool about your son's "cute little penis."
Although he is the sweetest little guy in the world,
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| (Don't judge Mommy. Chocolate provides antioxidants.) |
I also have two other delightful angels,
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| (Instagram makes everything look perfect) and this means that frequently what happens is: |
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| (Frozen-related LOUD INSANITY) |
10- You always have to be an extrovert. It's like never being able to leave the common area in your dorm, ever.
9- They yell to each other all the time. Someone is always in a different room. Three of them and all their crap don't even fit in the same room, so this makes sense.
8- Other people expect you to be a really good mom. Or else why would you have kept having kids? Only because you missed having a little baby? You idiot.
7- They require a ton of stuff. Like, shoes. How many little shoes fit into one closet? (Actually, more than you would think, especially if they aren't paired.)
6- They all want to do things. Like, go to the pool. But the other one doesn't want to. That one wants to sit around and pretend she is hurt bad enough to require a princess bandaid. The third one is napping. So basically you always have to deal with someone who isn't getting their way, and there is only so loud you can turn up the educational DVD in the minivan to drown out crying.
5- Your husband really can't handle all three. Neither can you, but you must both pretend you can or else the emperor will be seen to have no clothes and chaos will ensue.
4- Nobody wants to watch them. Neither do you though. So this is an impasse, and you lose because you're legally bound to them.
3- They are never quiet. Really. I tried wearing earplugs and they just talked louder. It was like the torture scenes in Homeland.
2- They are always hungry. This cannot be overstated. They want to eat at mealtimes, snacktimes, when they see food on TV, when a song has a food item in it, and when they read The Very Hungry Caterpillar (kids are suggestible, what can you do). There are three of them and one of me and if I fail to feed them, I fear they will eat me next.
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