Highly Sensitive Children, Another Thing to Worry About

If your kid takes life more seriously than other kids, and is always asking you questions like "When are you going to die?" and "What happens if my bear's ear falls off in the middle of the night and you don't hear me crying?" they may be a Highly Sensitive Child.  This is usually linked to having a Highly Sensitive Person as a parent so you can commence feeling guilty or blaming your spouse.... now.  (You can figure out the genetic culprit by taking this quiz.)  

Highly Sensitive Children are very observant, appreciate art and music, don't like loud or crowded places, can be seen as "intense."  Take another quiz on behalf of your child, because quizzes are an addictive time suck and you don't have enough on your plate.  And if they are indeed Highly Sensitive, buy this book: The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them.

Highly Sensitive Children have many positive traits, such as profound empathy for others, e.g. my four year old who cries when Pocahontas and John Smith are separated in the movie.  They also have many less positive traits, like having conniption fits over food odors, refusing to wear pants because "they hurt," pointing out your facial blemishes, and noticing and inquiring about when you seem irritated with your spouse.

Here are some ways to deal with your Highly Sensitive Child:

-validate them (e.g. I know you're sad because the plant died)

-but do not give in to them in every way (e.g. do not rush out and buy a new plant immediately)

-accept them (e.g. know they will always be sad when the plant dies; you cannot "toughen them up")

and even 

-appreciate them (e.g. "It's nice that you care about the plant")

Highly Sensitive Children become artists, teachers, philosophers, scientists, musicians.... so appreciate them.  Even when they talk about their feelings for hours a day and make "cute" observations like "That other mommy today looked tired like you."