Happy Anniversary

It is my anniversary! How long have I been married for, you ask? Well, okay, 2007, right, or was that when we started dating, no, that's right, and now it's 2013, I mean 2014... that's 7 years. Did I ever think I would have to do math to know my anniversary? That's what having children does to your brain. Here is a poem in honor of my husband, who shall remain nameless, because he has a real job.

Happy anniversary!
Thank you for giving me these children.
Now take them away so I can relax for one goddamn second.

Happy anniversary!
I think we are about six months away
From having a night out without the baby. (I know I said that six months ago).

Happy anniversary!
You still are very handsome.
Then again you didn't push three humans out of your body so why wouldn't you look good.

Happy anniversary!
Can you please get me a glass of water
Because I am trapped under a sleeping baby and I'm about to dehydrate.

Happy anniversary!
Please don't leave your wallet on the table
Because last time the baby ate your credit card.

Happy anniversary!
Did you call American Home Shield
About our leaking washing machine?

Happy anniversary!
Sorry this is your only present.
I am still recovering from our family vacation and I can't think straight.

Happy anniversary!
I can always count on you to be interested and supportive.
You could pass the Psychology Licensing Exam by now.

Happy anniversary!
I can also count on you to listen to me tell you
About everything that happens to me, ever.

Happy anniversary!
Thank you for being a great husband and father.
I love you.

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