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Five Love Languages and Why You Should Care

If you are bored at work or you need something to annoy your partner with when they are just trying to relax and watch TV, try taking the Five Love Languages quiz at www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ .

Just kidding, I really think the 5 Love Languages quiz and The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts can be a great conversation starter within a relationship. When working with couples, this is one of the early tools I frequently use to figure out what each partner most needs in the relationship.  The Five Love Languages are: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Physical Touch.  What is your number one?  What is your spouse's?  Your child's?  (My top one used to be Quality Time.  After having three small children, I think it has changed to Acts of Service, aka Watching the Kids.)

How often have you given a gift that turns out to be not what you partner wanted, to put it mildly? If each spouse is trying to give the other what they themselves would most appreciate, it can lead to problems (eg the stereotypical man giving his wife lingerie for a "present").  So how can you avoid this disaster in the making?

If you can talk about your love languages openly, there is a chance for partners to come to a more open and honest understanding of each other.  There is also less chance of wasted time/effort and resentment, because you won't be cooking dinner for a spouse who really values quality time and could care less about your act of service.

What are some love languages not on the list?  I can think of a few possibilities: joking/teasing, respecting space and boundaries, saying nice things in public (a variant of words of affirmation I guess).... would love to hear others.


Baby's love language is endless swinging
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